Time

I live my life in numbers. I am 31, my husband is 39, our kids are 7 and 5. It has been 13 years since I was in high school. I have known my husband for 10 years. This is our 9th Christmas as a couple. We have been married 8 years. My half birthday is October 28. I count the hours from arriving at work until I am home again. I count down days and minutes. This week we have 4 days until we go to Silver Dollar City, 9 days until Christmas, 13 days until vacation. Each night I give the kids warning countdowns to bedtime. 9 years ago we got Millie, 3 years ago we got Lizzy. Bo is 20 months old. My sister died 6 months ago.

I think about numbers and the passing of time constantly. And I can’t wrap my head around the fact that it has been 6 months. There are days when Alicia doesn’t cross my mind. There are others when she refuses to leave my thoughts. I worry that I will forget some little detail about her. I hope that some details of her illness I do forget.

I had a lot more to say it seemed like before I started writing this. But now that the words are on the page, I have no more to say. Just that 6 months has never passed so quickly before.